Heavy Heart, Mighty God

I haven't known a single year where I didn't have a single sad moment in my life. I doubt I ever will. Yet, through it all, I haven't known a single year where God wasn't there waiting for me to call upon Him. Heaven sounds like what honey tastes. I can't wait for it. I want to see Him and praise Him for eternity. Yet, I have been placed on this earth for a little while so that I can praise Him through the rain, and show His grace and mercy to others. Who could plan such a life like this but our God?

Productivity without Internet Connectivity

      So as the school year ends, I was reviewing some of the things that were good and some of the things I'm going to not do next year. One of those things was being on the internet too much, and as time went by I got addicted. I would almost never get my homework done on time and I wouldn't be doing anything else, and going out seemed dumb compared to being on the internet. I started to realize this in the past month, so I shut my internet down. In that time, I was ten times more productive, more interested in doing other things and reading books, and getting a lot better grades. For me, it's bittersweet because I have a lot of friends that I can only talk to online, and otherwise, I have no connection to. It was the decision of friends or good grades, which was hard for me. I've learned that I need to make sure I have my priorities straight and that I'm making wise decisions during the school year. Going through everything has definitely been interesting, but at the same time, I don't think I would've had it any other way.

Hall of Memories

            As I walk through this abandoned hall, I see my past. they are written in the cracks in the paint, shaped in the curves of  broken glass shattered on the floors. I've walked this hall before, but it was not me. I was a child when I put my footsteps on the soft blue carpet. My mother would be in the living room with my little brother, humming a tune while my older sister brushed her hair some more. Father would come home from work, kiss my cheek, and then send me to bed. Never had I guessed that that one kiss was the last. The next morning, they were all gone. They didn't take any belongings or leave any message. There was this hall though, where the glass lamp was smashed. This is where I walk now, the hall of my memories.

Russian Roullete

Sometimes I just wanna play russian roulette

But the only player is I
Please make sure I'm not in the gazette
Alone I shall die
Play it until someone wins,
pull that trigger until the deed is done
I shall never have any kin
because I can't hide from this gun.

Hold Me

So please hold me
Stop me from wondering how bad the next day will be
wrap your arms around my waist
Show me that with you I'm safe
Because I need love, the kind I never get
I feel so alone, I'm the one that people regret
I need warmth, because my body's so cold
I need someone to tell me I'm worth more than gold
the hope I have, I'm afraid I'll lose it

Friends Worry Me

I have to say, one of my biggest fears when it comes to friends is hurting them. Almost every time I see them, I'm just praying "God please help me not to hurt them, I love them so much, it's the last thing I want to do." And I know how much it hurts to be hurt by friends. Another thing is if they're in a lot of pain, and they don't tell me, so I make them feel worse.

Yet You Love Me

I come with empty hands
I come with a broken heart
I come with bruises and scars
I come with pieces of me that fell apart
And yet you love me

You are my Creator
I'm the one who destroyed your world
You are my Savior
I'm the one who crushed your son
And yet you call me child of your own