Hall of Memories

            As I walk through this abandoned hall, I see my past. they are written in the cracks in the paint, shaped in the curves of  broken glass shattered on the floors. I've walked this hall before, but it was not me. I was a child when I put my footsteps on the soft blue carpet. My mother would be in the living room with my little brother, humming a tune while my older sister brushed her hair some more. Father would come home from work, kiss my cheek, and then send me to bed. Never had I guessed that that one kiss was the last. The next morning, they were all gone. They didn't take any belongings or leave any message. There was this hall though, where the glass lamp was smashed. This is where I walk now, the hall of my memories.

Russian Roullete

Sometimes I just wanna play russian roulette

But the only player is I
Please make sure I'm not in the gazette
Alone I shall die
Play it until someone wins,
pull that trigger until the deed is done
I shall never have any kin
because I can't hide from this gun.

Hold Me

So please hold me
Stop me from wondering how bad the next day will be
wrap your arms around my waist
Show me that with you I'm safe
Because I need love, the kind I never get
I feel so alone, I'm the one that people regret
I need warmth, because my body's so cold
I need someone to tell me I'm worth more than gold
the hope I have, I'm afraid I'll lose it

Friends Worry Me

I have to say, one of my biggest fears when it comes to friends is hurting them. Almost every time I see them, I'm just praying "God please help me not to hurt them, I love them so much, it's the last thing I want to do." And I know how much it hurts to be hurt by friends. Another thing is if they're in a lot of pain, and they don't tell me, so I make them feel worse.

Yet You Love Me

I come with empty hands
I come with a broken heart
I come with bruises and scars
I come with pieces of me that fell apart
And yet you love me

You are my Creator
I'm the one who destroyed your world
You are my Savior
I'm the one who crushed your son
And yet you call me child of your own 

The Dead Haunt Me

June 10, 1861, Battle of Bethel Church.

A Union soldier’s poem after the battle.

Here I lie in this silent barricade

Bodies here, they do not restrain

As their lives fade

There is nothing they can regain

I cannot ever fully describe

How bloody it is here

More than scalping from an indian tribe

Is their blood so clear

The limbs are spewed

Faces are mottled

What this war has brewed

Cannot be kept bottled

For they are nothing but dead

Or soon to be so

The rest have fled

Yet I cannot not go

Oh how they brawled

So brave and true

Women would awe

At the things they would do

Yet I saw their bodies thrashing

As they died

Their teeth gnashing

Because of pain they cried

Cry after cry

Soul after soul

Oh my God why?

This burns like hot coal

How it plagues my mind!

Pierces my heart!

There is no love to find

No, not in this part.

The families cannot see them anymore

The friends, they cannot catch him when he falls

They will not be seen when opened is the door

And he shall not answer when for him they call

Never shall the father be seen

By the child so new

Never will the bride gleam

At her father who died in the morning dew

Their wives, now widows

The children, now poor

Never to be seen out of windows

Never to walk on their home floor

Chances of kin now are no more

Happiness for them is vanished

Never has sadness bitten this hard before

Thou serving is dished

My good friends

My fellow warriors

I wish this wasn’t the end

Of your story so mar

Now my head lilt

With the sound of gunshot one by one

My heart so full with guilt

This war physically but not mentally done

My God, my God, how I need you now

For I cannot go another fortnight

I do not know how

My people are dead because of this fight

Now I must go on

And go through hell again

Even though they are gone

Never forgetting the cries of my men

This is it

This is how it shall be

My love mashed like grit

While the dead haunt me